I watched the much-anticipated Season 4 Finale of True Blood and I am still reeling!
Without giving a blow-by-blow description of each scene…
Oh, screw it… here’s a blow-by-blow description of each scene!!
WARNING!! MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!!
READ NO FURTHER IF YOU DON’T WANT ANY PLOT GIVE-AWAYS!!
TRUE BLOOD: SEASON 4 FINALE
Lafayette’s house: Next morning, Lafayette and Jesus at breakfast. Jesus apologizing and saying if Lafayette wanted them to lead a magic-free life, that would be OK. Jesus smooches Lafayette and realizes something is not right. Lafayette sticks a fork into the back of Jesus’s hand, pinning it to the table, a la Luca Brasi!
Sookie’s house: Sookie and Tara talking. Sookie sees vision of her grandmother dead on the kitchen floor. Tells Tara she feels Gran is there at the house.
Bon Temps Cemetery: Sam buries his little brother Tommy. Mrs Fortenberry comes along. They are the only two there. Mrs Fortenberry offers to make Sam one of her famous pork rind casseroles. Sam says, “No… don’t trouble yourself!” LOL Mrs Fortenberry says that Tommy was like a son to her. She wants Sam to call her Mama. “We’re all the family we got left.” It’s kinda sad, really. Sam’s new girlfriend, Luna, and her little girl show up at the grave.
Road Crew Site: Jason goes to see Hoyt, who’s taking a chainsaw to some branches. Jason tells Hoyt he had sex with Jessica. Hoyt asks “How??” and, naturally, Jason describes how… “Well, if you really want to know… uh… missionary, then doggie, then her on top. Nothin’ too kinky.” POW! Hoyt punches him in the face. “No. How could you do this to me… not how did you fuck my girlfriend!!” Jason broke the code. Hoyt said Jason could have anyone he wants but Jessica was his only girl. Jason says he drank her blood… and that she was all he could think about.. and that it just happened. POW! Hoyt punches him in the face again! LOL Hoyt tells Jason that what he and Jessica had was real and that is something Jason will never have because something in Jason is missing.
Lafayette’s place: Jesus is duct taped into a chair. He’s trying to talk to Lafayette, telling him Marnie is making him do this stuff and that he has to fight her. Jesus and Marni get into an argument. Marni threatens to hurt Lafayette. Jesus asks what she wants. Marnie says she wants Jesus’s magic… all of it.
Merlotte’s: Sookie goes there. They’re having a Halloween party. Terry and Arlene are dressed as zombies. Arlene: “Zombies are the new vampires. Didn’t you know that?” Sookie is looking for Sam. Sookie says she is sorry Tommy died. She says Sam fired her. Sam realizes it was Tommy but he says she can have her job back provided she wears bunny ears for Halloween.
Lafayette’s: Marnie prepares for a big spell thing. She threatens to kill Lafayette. Jesus summons his inner demon. When he is the demon, Marnie stabs him, licks the knife and becomes the demon. Jesus says he is sorry to Lafayette and slumps over, dead.
Merlotte’s: Arlene’s kids are there for lunch as is Sam’s girlfriend Luna’s little girl. An old Marine Sgt buddy of Terry’s (Patrick) shows up at Merlotte’s. Terry saved his life. Twice. Sookie and Alcide talk at the bar. Alcide suggests he and Sookie get together. She says she can’t help who she loves… she’s tried. He says “Try harder!” He gets a call on his cell and says he has to go. He asks her to think about what he said.
Lafayette’s house: Tara goes looking for Lafayette and Jesus. She finds Jesus dead in the chair and does one of her trademark screams (her best yet, actually).
Merlotte’s: It is night and Sookie is outside in the parking lot lighting jack o’ lanterns. Wiccan waitress Holly (dressed as a fairy, wings and all) comes to Sookie. Holly says that at Halloween, the veil between the living and the dead is at its thinnest. They both say they feel something is wrong. Tara pulls up saying the Marni is back and killed Jesus and that she thinks Marnie has possessed Lafayette. They take off in Tara’s stupid yellow-green Gremlin (didn’t Lafayette give Tara his old car when Eric gave him the Ferrari?)
Tara’s car: The girls are thinking the first thing Marnie would do is go after Bill and Eric.
Bill’s plantation house: Dead guards litter the yard. Bill and Eric are silvered to a stake on top of a pile of wood. Looks like Marnie is going to light them up! Eric: “Any idea how to get out of this one, your Majesty?” Neither of them wants to sacrifice his own progeny. Bill: “I liked you better when you were brain-damaged.”
Sookie, Tara and Holly show up but Marnie/Lafayette is there wearing a very stylish blue mumu. Holly, who apparently carries around a box of salt in her purse, starts making a salt circle around everyone. Marnie lights the faggots (as it were). Sookie does her fairy blast thing and knocks Marnie out of the circle. Marni turns into the Jesus demon. Sookie, Tara and Holly make a circle and start doing incantations. Marnie can’t make it into the circle.
The incantation calls for friends, family, loved ones to come and protect them. Spirits rise up from the Bon Temps Cemetery and walk towards the plantation. Bill and Eric start to burn. Bon Temps ghosts show up, including Antonia della Groino or whatever her name is who puts out the fire says that it is time for Marnie to come with her… to come home. Marnie says “I’m not finished!” Sookie’s grandmother Adele shows up and says, “Oh yes you are!” and pulls Marnie out of Lafayette’s mouth, throwing her onto the ground. Yay, Gran!!
Marnie starts whining about how she isn’t finished and how she never gets what she wants and nobody cares about what she wants and how everyone thought she was a freak because spirits spoke to her. Antonia talks her into leaving the world of the living, saying that they will be at peace but the vampyres will be stuck on earth forever and that there will never be any peace for them. Antonia and Gran talk her into crossing over. Marnie: “Oh, this fuckin’ sucks!” She, Marnie and Gran walk to the cemetery.
Sookie begs Gran to stay, saying that she is so lost without her. Gran says she can’t stay but that Sookie has it within her to get by and that being alone is nothing to be afraid of… we’re all alone at the end. All ghosts disappear back into the Bon Temps Cemetery. (Or do they??)
The girls to check up on Lafayette and huddle around him. He is still alive. Eric: “Excuse me? We’re feeling a little crispy up here!”
Merlotte’s: Arlene is complaining as she is taking out the garbage out back. She’s the only waitress (Sookie and Holly took off with Tara). The ghost of her fiance, Rene, appears to her in the parking lot and warns her about Terry who is bringing trouble of the worst kind. Rene: “I’ve met the ghosts of his past and they aren’t going to rest forever.” Rene tells Arlene she should run away.
Jason’s house: A figure in a red hood and cape walks through the woods to his house and knocks on the door. Jason comes to the door, pressing a popsicle to his face (from where Hoyt punched him) thinking it’s kids on Halloween. It’s Jessica looking destabilizingly hot in the red hood and cape and sexy lingerie. Jason tells her that he told Hoyt about them. Jessica says, “Let me in.” They have sex.
Jessica says she is not ready to be in a committed relationship. Jason says he wishes she said that before he took an ass-kicking from Hoyt. She wants to know if this can be enough for now. She doesn’t want to hurt Jason like she hurt Hoyt. Jason: “You know what you are? You’re dangerous.” Jessica: “Yes. I am!” They have sex again.
Fangtasia (office): Pam is PISSED OFF! “Where the fuck is he??” Screamer Waitress (in a sexy nurse costume): “I don’t know!” She says Sookie called earlier looking for Eric. Pam (quote of the episode): “Sookie! I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie! I’ve been with Eric over a hundred years! I’ve watched him seduce supermodels and princesses and spit out their bones when he is finished. How can someone named Sookie take him away from me?” She tears up the office and breaks down crying.
Sookie’s house: Lafayette is in bed and Tara tries to comfort Lafayette saying he didn’t kill Jesus. It wasn’t his fault.
Bill’s house: Both Bill and Eric feed from Sookie, a wrist each. They look fine now.. all the burn marks are gone. She loves them both and she can’t stand it anymore. Bill says if she wants to be with Eric, she has his blessing. It looks like Sookie is going to choose Bill… but no. Then it looks like she is going to choose Eric… but no! She dumps them both!
Sookie’s house: Lafayette in bed. He wakes up and senses something. The ghost of Jesus appears. Jesus says he is OK with how things happened… that it is better than dying of cancer in some ward with a nurse who screws up his IVs and giving him bed sores. Lafayette isn’t OK with that. He doesn’t know how he is going to live knowing what he did. Jesus says, “Just keep breathing, baby. *smooch* It’s that simple.” Lafayette begs him not to leave. Jesus: “Dude. I’m dead. You’re a medium. I’ll always be with you!” And he disappears. Lafayette cries.
Merlotte’s parking lot: Holly goes to her car. Sheriff Andy Bellefleur comes up to her with flowers. She says it’s a bit too much right now. He says that’s OK.. that he’s sober and he’s lonely and he could be really good to someone if she lets him. Holly offers him a nice big hug, which he takes.
Sam’s house (outside): He and his girlfriend Luna kiss. He tries to convince her to stay for the night. Luna says her daughter isn’t ready for that. She feels that if they move too fast and get too happy, if they get too cute and cheesy G-d is going to drop a brick on their heads. Sam says life is violent so when you find something good, you have to enjoy it and celebrate it. Luna says OK, then drives away. Sam turns around and there is a wolf snarling at him.
Jason’s house: Jessica’s putting on her sexy black nylons. Jason asks if she’s really leaving. She says yes. He says if she didn’t like it, he can take direction. Jessica says she liked it a lot and suggested that next time, they might try oral! She says Hoyt was shy because of her fangs. (Yikes!) [They may not be as cute as she and Hoyt, but they are kinda cute together too.] She leaves and a moment later the door knocks. He think’s it’s her coming back. It’s not… it’s… Reverend Steve Newlin from the Fellowship of the Sun. He says, “Trick or treat?” and bares his fangs! OMG! He’s a vampyre!!
Parking garage: Alcide and a construction worker walking in the garage. Worker says something weird happened but he can’t remember anything. There is a huge hole in the floor and a silver chain in the busted concrete. Russell Edgington is back!!
Bill’s House: Pam Flanagan shows up at the door with some vampyre cops in their stupid outfits. Eric: “Hi, Nan. And gay stormtroopers.” Bill tells her the Marnie thing has been resolved. Nan is pissed off. She quit her job with the AmericanVampire League… and the authority. Bill: “No one quits the Authority.” Nan: “Quit. Fired. Same difference.” Her last duty was to execute Bill and Eric but then she realized she would be next. “I have been alive for 816 years. I refuse to be retired like a fat first wife!” She is rebelling against the Authority and wants Bill and Eric to join her. What’s in it for them? She helps them protect Sookie. Eric, bored with the conversation, kills the gay stormtroopers. Bill stakes Nan, turning her into goo. Eric: “What a bitch.”
Sookie’s house: Sookie comes home. Hears TV. Thinks Tara is still awake. Goes to the fridge. ~click click~ It’s Debbie in the kitchen with a shotgun! Tara runs in front of Sookie to save her. Gets shot in the head. Sookie wrestles Debbie to the ground and blows her head off. Sookie cradles Tara on the kitchen floor screaming, “Somebody help us!”
Dead: Jesus, Marnie, Pam Flanagan, Debbie.
Back: Russell Edgington, Steve Newlin