Zombie Facts: Real and Imagined (Infographic)

Thanks to the wonderful geeks and nerdlings over at LiveScience.com for the following infographic and article.

Zombies, à la The Walking Dead, don’t exist in the real world, but they have been a big part of pop culture and show up time and again in history and folklore.

As portrayed in the classic 1968 film “Night of the Living Dead,” zombies are lumbering, flesh-eating corpses. Some say this film reinvented zombies, who were shown in earlier films such as 1932’s “White Zombie” as “beings whose brains had been zapped by some ‘master’ who was then able to control their actions,” according to the University of Michigan website.

Zombies are even mentioned in Haitian folklore, with the Haitian word “zombi” meaning “spirit of the dead.” These tales showed voodoo priests who had the ability to resurrect the deceased through the administration of a magic powder. And according to legend, “In Haiti a zombi is someone who has annoyed his or her family and community to the degree that they can no longer stand to live with this person. They respond by hiring a Bokor, a vodoun priest who practices black magic and sorcery, to turn them into a zombi,” according to the Florida Museum of Natural History.

Even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has jumped on the zombie bandwagon, with a post on their website in May 2011 entitled “Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse.” The post, a tongue-in-check way to promote real disaster preparedness, went viral that week.

Of course, the CDC was not suggesting we need to worry about zombies. “If you’re prepared for the zombie apocalypse, you’re also prepared for hurricanes and flooding,” said CDC spokesperson Dave Daigle at the time. Another scientific endeavor, by the Oxford Internet Institute, visualized in map form the global distribution of Google Maps references to “zombies.”

While no scientific evidence suggests human zombies exist, there are plenty of zombies in the animal kingdom.

Recent research in a Thai rain forest showed how a parasitic fungi, a species of Ophiocordyceps, forces an infected ant to wander drunkenly over the forest’s low leaves before clamping its jaws around the main vein on the underside of a leaf in an ant-zombie graveyard. [Mind Control: Gallery of Zombie Ants]

By watching 16 infected ants bite down, the researchers, who describe their findings in the journal BMC Ecology, found that the ants’ last bites took place around Noon, indicating they are synchronized to either the sun or a related cue, like temperature or humidity. Another study found the fungus not only guided timing of death but also the zombie ant’s whereabouts, on the undersides of leaves sprouting from the northwest side of plants that grow on the forest floor. That’s where temperature, humidity and sunlight are ideal for the fungus to grow and reproduce and infect more ants.

Zombie caterpillars have also been spotted by scientists, with one study revealing the mastermind behind the gypsy moth caterpillar’s zombie-like run for treetops once infected with a virus. Turns out, a single gene in the virus turns the caterpillars into tree-climbing zombies. Once up high in the trees, the caterpillars die and their bodies liquefy, raining deadly “zombie” virus onto their brothers and sisters below.

Zombies Are Just One Big Cootie: A child’s view of the living dead

At St. Mary of the Assumption Elementary School, Mrs. Graves’s kindergarten class was fairly unanimous in their disapproval.

“Zombies are just one big cootie,” says Stephanie, her freckled nose crinkling.

“Zombies are slow and ugly and not so smart,” observes Michael.

“They make me want to throw up,” confesses Kelly-Anne, shaking her young head sadly.

(Zombie princesses)

Things weren’t much different at Mrs. Matseyve’s first grade class at the Upper West Hebrew Academy.

“Everybody hates zombies. They’re gross!” states Tamar emphatically.

“Maybe if they looked nicer and didn’t try to eat you, people wouldn’t run away from them so much,” suggests Dvorah-Leah.

“They make creepy moany noises,” observes Rivki, her face in a frown. “Nobody likes that, especially at night.”

The second grade children at P.S. 6 did not diverge from what was fast becoming almost a mantra among the youngest amongst us.

“I wish they would just go away. I’m bored of all the zombie stuff!” exclaims Madison.

“Zombies are icky. Vampyres are much better,” admits Claire.

How is it that such a profound prejudice is ingrained in our children at such a young age?

(Zombie boy)

We asked clinical psychologist and misozombia [1] expert Aaron David Shtarben, Psy.D, at Bellevue Hospital Centre in Manhattan.

“What we’re seeing more and more in young children,” Dr. Shtarben says, “is something much greater than a normal and healthy wariness of the living dead. We’re observing behaviour and speech consistent with an almost pathological fear and an intense hatred far out of proportion to the danger actually posed to children.”

Dr. Shtarben indicates that such deep-seated ‘fear and loathing’ of zombies among children is spreading rapidly through our culture and shows little sign of abating.

How can we stop this? Some experts have proposed a possible solution.

“Parents should be particularly careful in projecting a fair and balanced image to their children,” advises child psychiatrist Dr. Isaac Nifter of the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto. “Especially when children are at a young and impressionable age, it is incumbent upon the parents to ensure that negative stereotypes aren’t imprinted on their children’s minds. And this goes double when talking about the Life-Challenged.”

As the old song goes, you’ve got to be taught to hate and fear.

(Is this the face of our dystopian future?)

Back at the Upper West Hebrew Academy, I spoke with a Junior Kindergarten student, 4-year-old Rachel. “They’re schtunky!” she giggles, her little fingers covering her wide smile, her twinkling blue eyes barely concealing the venom and vitriol bubbling within her, just under the surface.

To see such unbridled abhorence in one so young chilled this writer to the bone.

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[1] Misozombia: An intense dislike, hatred, disgust or aversion  regarding zombies. This is not to be confused with Zombiphobia: An abnormal or pathological fear of zombies. For more zombie-related words and expressions, see The Zombie Lexicon: A Living Dead Language Guide.

George A. Romero’s ‘Day of the Dead’ and ‘Land of the Dead’: Reviews

George A. Romero’s Day of the Dead and Land of the Dead, are his third and fourth ‘Living Dead’ or ‘Of the Dead” zombie movies, respectively, after Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead.

DAY OF THE DEAD

(Day of the Dead)

OK, here’s the deal (as per the Gospel According to Wikipedia)…

Some time after the events of Dawn of the Dead, zombies have overrun the world. An underground army missile bunker near the Everglades is the base for a group which is part of a military-supported scientific team assigned by the remnants of the government to study the zombie phenomenon in the hopes of finding a way of stopping or reversing the zombification process. Dwindling supplies, loss of communication with other survivor enclaves, and an apparent lack of progress in the experiments have already caused tension and loss of cohesion among the scientists and soldiers. Dr. Logan, the lead scientist on the project, has been secretly using the recently deceased soldiers in his experiments, trying to prove his theory that the zombies can eventually be domesticated.

Mayhem ensues when the soldiers, commanded by Capt. Rhodes, and the scientists discover that Dr. Logan has gone crazy and his experiments have gone way over the top. What sets off the shit-storm at the end of the movie was when the soldiers and other scientists realize that Dr. Logan’s idea of ‘reward’ is feeding bits of the recently deceased soldiers to his test zombie, Bub. Rhodes threatens to kill the scientists if the helicopter pilot doesn’t fly him and his men out of the area and off to safety. Things really start to hit the fan when one of the infected soldiers opens the huge missile elevator and lets hundreds of zombies into the underground installation.

(Zombies reach out and touch someone!)

My two cents… Day of the Dead is the most pessimistic of Romero’s zombie movies to this point. The zombies outnumber the humans 400,000 to one. There is no trace of any radio signal or indeed of any human activity within 100 miles in any direction of the base. Even if they wanted to escape, where would they go? It seems the characters spend most of the movie yelling and screaming at each other. What you have is a mini-society melting down in much the same way as the people on the surface must have melted down in the face of the zombie apocalypse. As Max Brooks, author of The Zombie Survival Guide, said last summer at ComicCon, “The zombies don’t win. We lose!” It is our own faults and foibles, our stupidity and inability to get along that results in our failure. We screw it up. Royally.

Much of the acting is pretty wooden. Not that I expected to see glittering performances in this movie but… a bit of effort on behalf of some of the actors would have been appreciated. I thought Lori Carille as Dr. Sarah Bowman was just plain old bad. What I found both amusing and oddly disconcerting, however, was John Liberty’s performance as Dr. ‘Frankenstein’ Logan. It reminded me so strongly of The Daily Show’s John Hodgman doing his recurring segment ‘You’re Welcome’ that I couldn’t keep grinning at every scene in which Liberty/Logan appeared. Really. (Watch this movie again with Hodgman in mind. You won’t be disappointed.)

An important aspect of Day of the Dead is Romero begins to ‘humanize’ the zombie, giving it some thought and emotion. In this movie, the humanization character is the zombie Bub – the star pupil of Dr. Logan’s experiments. You see Bub go through the rudiments of memory, thought and emotion. (This humanization of the zombie is fleshed out a lot more in Land of the Dead, below) In some ways, Bub is a lot more ‘human’ that the soldiers under Capt. Rhodes’ command, who are portrayed as little more than gun-toting apes.

Bottom line… A step down in quality from Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead. Still worth watching but don’t go in expecting a fantastic movie. It’s not bad. It’s OK. It’s just not great. I was kinda hoping for great. Or at least really good. I was let down.

I give it three-quarters of a bitten bleeding thumb up.

LAND OF THE DEAD

(Land of the Dead)

“In a world where the dead are returning to life, the word ‘trouble’ loses much of its meaning.”

OK, here’s the deal (as per the Gospel According to Wikipedia)…

Years after the events of [Day of the Dead], there are very few living humans left. Many have fled to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where a feudal-like government has taken hold. Bordered on three sides by rivers and on the fourth by an electric fence, the city has become a sanctuary. Fiddler’s Green is where the rich and powerful live in luxury, while the rest of the population subsists. Paul Kaufman (Dennis Hopper) rules the city with overwhelming firepower. ‘Big Daddy’ (Eugene Clark), a zombie, is unusually aware and intelligent, directs his fellow zombies to use firearms and overcome the human defenses. The zombies learn, adapt, and even communicate with primitive moans and grunts. When Big Daddy realizes the river is no obstacle he leads the zombies in an assault on the human city. The electric fence that once kept the zombies out now keeps the humans trapped inside.

(Big Daddy at the gas pump)

Kauffman (Hopper): “Zombies, man. They creep me out!

Mayhem ensues when the lead zombie, ‘Big Daddy’ [1], appalled, angered and outraged at how the zombies are being killed practically for sport by humans, begins to communicate basic ideas to the other zombies, telling them what to do. As a mob, they attack one of the fences, knocking it down and overpowering the soldiers guarding the perimeter. The zombies then walk across (or rather under) the river and gain access to the city.

My two cents… I found Land of the Dead a lot less ‘low budget cheesy’ than Day of the Dead and therefore much more enjoyable. And the quality of the acting is much higher… which also made it more enjoyable. It was filmed in Toronto and Hamilton (a lot of horror movies are) so I recognized some of the actors and a few of the locations. That’s always fun for me.

In all of his zombie movies, Romero is interested in social commentary. What do zombies and the zombie apocalypse say about us? Unlike Day of the Dead where basically none of the humans is really likeable, there are a lot of good decent human characters in Land of the Dead. Still, many other humans don’t come across so well. Some of them are such douches that you want to cheer for the zombies when things hit the fan. It’s not so much like a ‘we deserved this’ kind of thing… but at times, you just kind of feel that zombies are the chlorine that has been added to our gene pool, if you know what I mean. Like the old Sylvester Stalone line in Cobra. “You’re the disease… and I’m the cure!”

Bottom line… I found Land of the Dead way better than Day of the Dead. I recommend that you see both of them just because I think any fan of horror should see all of the George A. Romero zombie movies. It gives you a sense of history. But while you might feel that sitting through Day of the Dead is a bit of a chore… something you HAVE to do… you’ll have a much better time watching Land of the Dead.

I give it one and a half rotting zombie thumbs up.

A side note…

I took a peek at the overall ratings on the RottenTomatoes site for the whole Romero Living Dead series and I noticed a steady decline in the approval ratings, as follows:

Night of the Living Dead – 96%
Dawn of the Dead – 94%
Day of the Dead – 79%
Land of the Dead – 74%
Diary of the Dead – 61%
Survival of the Dead – 29%

Not that I pay all that attention to what critics say. It’s just something I thought I’d mention as RottenTomatoes take a survey of a bunch of critics and averages out the final result. In other words, the score – the approval rating – is the percentage of critics who gave the film a favourable review.

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[1] He wears blue auto-mechanic overalls with the name ‘Big Daddy’ on them. He is also armed with what looks to me to be an M-16 he picks up from a dead soldier/mercenary. He can think to a limited degree extent, use tools and can communicate basic ideas, even teaching zombies how to use tools and guns. It appears to me that he operates almost on a intelligent chimpanzee or even a toddler level which is light years ahead of the mindless living dead of the first two Romero zombie movies.

Yours Truly: Noted Zombie Expert!

As a ‘noted zombie expert’, I was interviewed the other day by a local newspaper concerning The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse.

The reporter and I met at my favourite café… well, my favourite café since my previous real favourite café closed a few months ago. Long story. I’d rather not talk about it right now. It’s still so upsetting.

But first, a bit of background…

I am a member of the Zombie Research Society [1]. We are a group of academics, artists, professionals, scientists and enthusiasts who are interested in studying zombies as if they were a scientific reality. We’re not out saying that zombies are real or that there’s been a zombie outbreak somewhere. What we do ask, however, are the fun questions like… If you ran into a zombie on the street, what would it look like? What would it sound like? How would its brain work? How would it hunt us? How would we deal with such a phenomenon? How would we  best defend ourselves against zombies? How would we survive? In short, how would we prepare for and live through The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse? We extrapolate survival strategies. We also study zombie culture and try to promote better cultural representations of zombies (e.g. TV shows like The Walking Dead [2]), better movies, better books, etc.

My goals walking into this interview, therefore, were a) to answer to the best of my ability questions regarding zombies, zombie history, zombies in literature, film and television, zombie culture, and preparation for The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse; b) to provide intelligent information and promote better cultural representations of zombies in the arts, sciences and media; and c) not to make myself look like an idiot in the process. A daunting challenge, no doubt!

The reporter was very nice, thank goodness. I was nervous about the interview because unlike other times when I have been interviewed by the press, this was on a subject other than criminal law… which is what I do in my ‘real life.’ This woman was going to talk to me and ask me questions about the subject matter of my other life… my non-criminal-defence-lawyer life… in other words, my life as a ‘noted zombie expert’ and all that entails.

She didn’t seem to know much about zombies except for the basics, which was great for me because I was more than happy to explain things as best I could as she led me through the issues.

At one point, she asked me if I had a Zombie Preparedness Kit and my gut reaction was to say “no.” But returning to my apartment that afternoon, I realized that, coming as I do from an Italian background, I’ve ALWAYS had at least a seven-day supply of food on hand as well as about three of everything else, including medicine, batteries, candles, flashlights, first aid kits, etc. That’s just the way I was raised. My 85-year-old mother, for example, has been preparing for an Ice Age for the last fifty years! I’m not kidding. If The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse happened today, she’d have enough food and supplies on hand to last the winter! I do need to stock up on water, though, so I will take a trip over to The Zombie Serengeti (aka The Walmarts) this afternoon.

I thought the interview went well. We covered a wide range of topics from zombie history, voodoo zombies, Romero zombies, modern viral zombies, zombies in modern culture, zombie vs vampyre comparisons and contrasts and how our society views both,  effective (and non-effective) anti-zombie weaponry, how to prepare for the Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse and even a bit about the Zombie Research Society. The article comes out some time next week. I hope I did well.

And I really hope I don’t look like an idiot.

I will keep you all posted!

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[1] Founded in 2007, the Zombie Research Society (ZRS) is dedicated to raising the level of zombie scholarship in the Arts and Sciences.  ZRS Members represent diverse backgrounds, interests, and theories, but are unified in their support of the Society’s three foundational principles:

1) A zombie is a biologically definable, animated being occupying a human corpse.

2) The zombie pandemic is coming.  It’s not a matter of if, but a matter of when.

3) Enthusiastic debate about zombies is essential to the survival of the human race.

N.B.: The entire contents of footnote [1] above is the copyright property of the Zombie Research Society. © 2010 – All Rights Reserved. It cannot be reprinted or reproduced in any form, in whole or in part, without their express written permission.

[2] Season Two of AMC’s The Walking Dead premieres Sunday October 16, 2011!

Early Medieval Irish Zombies?

A British documentary [1] on Channel 5 a week or so ago, caused this past weekend’s online headlines to blare:

Revealed, Ireland’s real-life zombie scare: Eighth century skeletons buried with stones in mouths

The article goes on, “A number of 8th century human skeletons have been found with large stones stuck in their mouths – something researchers believe locals did to stop the dead from returning to walk the Earth as zombies.” (DailyMailOnline)

Did Zombies Roam Medieval Ireland? Sleep on it!

The piece goes on to explain, “The skeletons, which were featured in a British documentary last week, emerged during a series of digs carried out between 2005 and 2009 at Kilteasheen, near Loch Key in Ireland, by a team of archaeologists led by Chris Read from the Institute of Technology in Sligo, Ireland and Thomas Finan from the University of St. Louis.” (MSNBC.com)

Did Zombies Roam Medieval Ireland?

The article begins, “Two early medieval skeletons were unearthed recently in Ireland with large stones wedged into their mouths — evidence, archaeologists say, that it was feared the individuals would rise from their graves like zombies.” (Discovery.com)

The people of 8th century Ireland were afraid of zombies, too! (i09.com)

Zombie Scare in 8th Century Ireland Revealed? (TheBlaze.com)

(Skeleton with large stone in its mouth)

The “deviant burials” were comprised of two men who were buried there at different times in the 700s.

One of the men was between 40 and 60 years old, and the other was a young adult, probably between 20 and 30 years old. The two men were laid side by side and each had a baseball-size rock shoved in his mouth.

“One of them was lying with his head looking straight up. A large black stone had been deliberately thrust into his mouth,” Chris Read, head of Applied Archaeology at IT Sligo, said.

“The other had his head turned to the side and had an even larger stone wedged quite violently into his mouth so that his jaws were almost dislocated,” he added.

“[The mouth] was viewed as the main portal for the soul to leave the body upon death,” explains Read. “Sometimes, the soul could come back to the body and re-animate it or else an evil spirit could enter the body through the mouth and bring it back to life.”

(Little Old Venetian Vampyre Lady?)

A similar find was discovered on the Venetian island of Lazzaretto Nuovo a few years ago… the skull of an old woman with a brick in her mouth. In that case, however, the skull was found in a mass grave of 16th century plague victims. It is suspected that the gravediggers, fearing she was a vampyre, shoved the brick in her mouth to prevent her from chewing her way through the shroud. How this would prevent the Nosferatu Nonna from clawing her way out is another story. Maybe the shrouds were made of heavy canvas and could not be easily torn without sharp fangs. Still… I have a family full of little old Italian ladies. Trust me, they are tough and resourceful!

Seriously cool stuff, in any event.

(Politically incorrect Irish Zombie exploitation tshirt)

However… (here I go, throwing a wrench in the Irish Zombie Gearworks)…

The idea of zombies as we known them simply did not exist in Ireland or even Europe in the 8th century. Zombies are originally a west African and, later, Afro-Caribbean concept, and it is only in 1968 with George A. Romero’s seminal classic Night of the Living Dead do we see the creation of the ‘apocalyptic’ or ‘viral’ zombie. As for vampyres, while they were certainly a part of European (especially Eastern European) culture by the late medieval/early renaissance period, they simply don’t figure in the 8th century popular imagination of Western Europe and the British Isles.

Still… Irish zombies. You gotta love it!

Faith an’ begorra, me lassie child! ‘Tis a wee fair sight fer Irish eyes!

(I’ve never understood how the English thought the Irish spoke this way!)

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[1] It’s interesting to note that while the documentary focuses on vampyres and is in fact entitled, “Mysteries of The Vampire Skeletons: Revealed”, the newspaper media have, despite the documentary, chosen the zombie angle the vampire one. Are zombies the new vampyres? See my previous article: Zombies are the New Vampyres?

The Zombie Lexicon: A Living Dead Language Guide

The following are a few excerpts from my work-in-progress, The Zombie Lexicon: A Living Dead Language Guide.[1]

Apocalypso: (combination of Apocalypse and Calypso) A style of Afro-Caribbean zombie music that originated in Trinidad and Tobago from African and Asian zombie roots.

Floombie: (combination of Floozie and Zombie) Extremely dangerous strain of mutant female zombies who emit erotic moans and groans, attracting human males and spreading the infection through sexual intercourse. [2]

Misozombia: An intense dislike, hatred, disgust or aversion  regarding zombies.

Mombie (also ‘Mumbie): What your mother becomes when she joins the living dead. [3]

Zambi: An American animated film by Walt Disney about a young fawn born and raised in the forest. Its mother is shot by hunters and eventually the young deer grows up… and becomes a zombie.

Z-Party Movement, The (aka The Zee Party): A political movement in support of civil rights for zombies.

Zom Beam: Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, with a twist of zombie.

Zom-B-Gone: A general catch-all phrase descriptive of any effective anti-zombie weapon or tactic.

Zomb Pérignon: A brand of vintage champagne, named after Dom Pérignon (1638–1715), a Benedictine monk, an important pioneer in the quality development of Champagne wine… and a zombie.

Zomba: A dance with movements resembling those of zombies.

Zombaione: An Italian light custard dessert made from egg yolks, sugar, sweet wine and frozen puréed brains.

Zombardier: (pronounced zom-BAR-dee-ay) A Canadian Ski-Doo snowmobile specifically modified for hunting zombies in winter.

Zombass: (combination of Zombie and Dumbass) Someone so stunned and stupid, he or she might as well be a zombie.

Zombeagle: Even Snoopy is not safe from the Zombie Apocalypse!

Zombese: 1. The purported ‘language’ of the zombies.  2. A series of eerie moans, groans and other zombie sounds which is claimed by some to be capable of being understood and interpreted.

Zombia: A proposed country to be established as a zombie homeland. (also Zombistan)

Zombiphobia: An abnormally intense or pathological fear of zombies.

Zombie-Nimble: Children’s nursery rhyme game where they recite “Zombie-Nimble, Zombie-Quick. Zombie… Aaiieee! Zombies!!” then run around screaming ‘Zombies!’ as loudly as they can, waving their arms in the air.

Zombilicious: Anything or anyone that is extremely tasty or attractive to a zombie.

Zombistan: (see Zombia)

Zombocrat: A derogatory term for anyone who supports or advocates on behalf of Zombie Rights (See Z-Party)

Zomboni: Large resurfacer machine, originally used to clean and smooth ice rinks, outfitted for hunting, chasing and running down zombies over frozen rivers and lakes.

Zomboozle: To confuse, confound or bewilder a zombie long enough to kill it or effect an escape.

Zombrero: A wide-brimmed hat originally from Mexico and favoured by Chicano zombies.

Zombro: A male African-American zombie.

Zumbie: Even Gumby isn’t safe from the Zombie Apocalypse.

Zumbo:  An American animated film by Walt Disney about a young elephant with large ears, born and raised in the circus. Its mother is locked up and deemed mad. Eventually, the young elephant learns to use its ears to fly… and becomes a zombie.

Zumbo wrestling: A highly illegal Japanese competitive full-contact sport where one wrestler attempts to force another wrestler out of a circular ring… and into a pit of zombies.

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[1] Please feel free to submit your own entries and I will include them! All images here are not mine and I do not claim ownership of any of them. Copyright remains with the creators and/or owners thereof.

[2] See Whoremaggedon: Rise of the Floomies!

[3] “It’s our inability to guiltlessly murder loved ones that will bring about our ultimate downfall.”  (Cracked.com, After Hours)