Why I Hate Almost Everyone (Part 21): The ‘Too Cool for School’

Too Cool for School:

A state in which a person thinks him or herself superior to everyone else in a given group or in general. Most commonly used sarcastically. [1]

“You may think you’re too cool for school. But I got a news flash for you…you AREN’T.” (Zoolander)

There is a difference between being ‘too cool for school’ (TCFS) and being snobbish, pretentious, conceited or even having a superiority complex, although being TCFS may at times incorporate those other repellent qualities.

There is a sense of being ‘above it all’… that just about everything and everyone else is somehow beneath you. Not in terms of social or financial standing for many of the TCFS come from quite modest, even poor backgrounds.

(Truman Capote ~ seriously too cool for school)

There is often a distinct gap between where the TCFS feel they should be and where they in fact are.

I’ve noticed many a waiter or waitress in artsy type restaurants and cafes adopt a tired, bored attitude when serving customers. An overwhelming sense of ennui engulfs them making it barely possible for them to do the menial tasks that cruel fate has inflicted upon their noble souls. Baristas (or baristards, as I sometimes call them) are quite often TCFS. In fact, being a barista is perhaps the ideal job for someone who is TCFS yet lacks any other marketable skill or talent.

(TCFS Baristard)

Uh huh… Spare me the attitude and make me my cappuccino, ok?

The TCFS are at their best when they need something from us plebes. People with whom they would otherwise never be caught dead, let alone associate, suddenly become necessary. What to do, what to do? No problem. The TCFS make it seem like they are doing YOU a huge favour by allowing you to be of some small assistance to them.

(I’ll let you do me a big favour… but just this once, ok?)

“It would be really cool if I could use your cell phone. I’d use mine but international calls are way expensive!”

Oh, golly gee. COULD I??

Listen… you’re above it all. Fine. Too involved in the high drama that is your life to talk with the groundlings. Great.

Just don’t expect me to play along, ok?

Now get me my damn cappuccino!

aa-tribalfang

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[1] UrbanDictionary.com

A Welcome Goodbye!

I hate summer. I really do.

The heat, the humidity. Never ever EVER being comfortable!

It’s sticky and gross.

I hate sunlight. I literally don’t like the feel of it on my skin.

And so, it is with gladness in my heart and a spring in my step that I bid a fond farewell to this particularly awful time of year.

Bring on the cool days and the cold nights.

(Photo by Daniel Řeřicha)

Bring on the colours.

Bring on autumn!!

aa-tribalfang

The Twilight Saga – BREAKING DAWN (Part 1): The Fourth Level of Hell

Well, I’ve managed to survive the Twilight Saga movie series so far. Let’s see how I make out with the fourth installment, Breaking Dawn (Part 1)!

I have to tell you, I did not think I would make it this far into the series. I don’t know whether to be proud or ashamed.

OK, here goes (according to the DVD blurb)…

A marriage, honeymoon and the birth of a child bring unforeseen and shocking developments for Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) and those they love, including new complications for werewolf, Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner).

(Twi-hards’ dream wedding but where did Bella get that dress living out in the sticks?!)

Mayhem ensues when… Bella gets pregnant like right away… and is ready to deliver in a month or so, that is how fast the pregnancy is progressing. There are severe complications with the pregnancy. The wolf pack gets their fur in a knot because they believe the baby is probably going to be some abomination that won’t be able to control its appetite and will be a danger to all humans around it. They decide to kill the baby. Jacob leaves the pack to protect Bella. Lord knows why.

In this movie, Edward is even more insufferable than ever. Usually, it’s Bella who drives you crazy but in Breaking Dawn (Part 1), Edward gives her a run for her money. What a whiny  pouting, long-faced loser. You almost feel sorry for Bella for having married such a spineless downer of a yutz. Almost.

So how was Breaking Dawn (Part 1) received. I am glad you asked!

RottenTomatoes.com gives it a 25% freshness rating, saying, “Slow, joyless, and loaded with unintentionally humorous moments, Breaking Dawn Part 1 may satisfy the Twilight faithful, but it’s strictly for fans of the franchise.”

Jeff Bayer at The Scorecard Review: Whatever momentum the third film had in this series, it’s gone. Once again, it’s an average soap opera.

Robert Roten at the Laramie Movie Scope: This slow-moving film has long periods of inaction and generates little suspense, making it the worst film in the “Twilight Saga” films so far.

But the reviews weren’t all bad…

Tom Long, Top Critic: There are a few reasons The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 1 is probably the best of the Twilight films.

Bruce Diones, at the New Yorker: This penultimate “Twilight” film is the best in the series so far. It’s languorous, romantic, moody, and, in the end, horrifying.

My two cents… Breaking Dawn (Part 1) solves a lot of the tension issues that make the Cullen/Swan couple such an enormous pain in the tush. Sex, Marriage, Vampirism… they all get settled. What we are left with is Edward and Bella as a married couple and sweet Lord almighty are they tedious. When Bella starts languishing during childbirth, becoming anorexic to the point of looking like a human skeleton, I was cheering for the baby to finish her off once and for all. Alas, it was not to be.

Breaking Dawn (Part 1) is a soapy melodrama. Twi-hards will love it. The whole wedding thing? I could almost see tweens, teens and Twi-hard moms alike drenching Kleenex like they were getting paid for it. I was starting to get used to things in the last movie but this one brings it all crashing down to earth. And was there anyone out there who didn’t know that the movie would end with a close-up of Bella’s new, red vampire eyes?

The bottom line… Breaking Dawn (Part 1) is My Big Fat Boring Vampire Wedding.

Now I figure that most of the angst-producing stuff that gets Edward to furrow his brow and look like he has gas… or that makes Bella… well… look exactly the same no matter what… is taken care of in this movie. Edward didn’t want to have sex and Bella did? They had sex. Bella didn’t want to get married and Edward did? They got married. Edward didn’t want to make Bella a vampire and she did? She’s a vampire.

Gee… I wonder what will happen in Breaking Dawn (Part 2) to make them feel all tortured about who they are and what they want and Lord oh Lord I hope Blade or Buffy or someone with a wooden stake shows up at the end of the next movie and takes care of them both!

Breaking Down (Part 2) opens in theatres November 16, 2012.

aa-tribalfang

Rosh HaShana – Going into Total Jew Lock Down

Well, boys and girls – geeks and nerdlings – it’s that time of year again!

The Jewish holidays will soon be fast upon us. (Is that a redundancy?)

This coming Jewish year (5773), all of the seven (count ’em – SEVEN!) of Jewish holy days between September 16 and October 10 will fall on week days.

I will be spending almost all of them in The Heart of the Old World (i.e. the area of Bathurst Street between Lawrence and Wilson avenues)

As such, this blog (along with its ‘brother blog’ Kosher Samurai) won’t be posting articles as per its regular Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule.

It’s a Jew thing. 😉

Not to worry. I will return to my usual full schedule by the middle of October, all refreshed and spiritually revived.

Wish all of my readers the best, now and always. Thank you for popping by and reading my musings.

As they say in the Vatican, “Gutt yontiff! A gutten un a gezinter yor! A gebentshed un a zeeser yor!”*

aa-tribalfang

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* Translation (from Yiddish): “Happy holy day! A good and a healthy year. A blessed and a sweet year!”