Yours Truly: Noted Zombie Expert!

As a ‘noted zombie expert’, I was interviewed the other day by a local newspaper concerning The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse.

The reporter and I met at my favourite café… well, my favourite café since my previous real favourite café closed a few months ago. Long story. I’d rather not talk about it right now. It’s still so upsetting.

But first, a bit of background…

I am a member of the Zombie Research Society [1]. We are a group of academics, artists, professionals, scientists and enthusiasts who are interested in studying zombies as if they were a scientific reality. We’re not out saying that zombies are real or that there’s been a zombie outbreak somewhere. What we do ask, however, are the fun questions like… If you ran into a zombie on the street, what would it look like? What would it sound like? How would its brain work? How would it hunt us? How would we deal with such a phenomenon? How would we  best defend ourselves against zombies? How would we survive? In short, how would we prepare for and live through The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse? We extrapolate survival strategies. We also study zombie culture and try to promote better cultural representations of zombies (e.g. TV shows like The Walking Dead [2]), better movies, better books, etc.

My goals walking into this interview, therefore, were a) to answer to the best of my ability questions regarding zombies, zombie history, zombies in literature, film and television, zombie culture, and preparation for The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse; b) to provide intelligent information and promote better cultural representations of zombies in the arts, sciences and media; and c) not to make myself look like an idiot in the process. A daunting challenge, no doubt!

The reporter was very nice, thank goodness. I was nervous about the interview because unlike other times when I have been interviewed by the press, this was on a subject other than criminal law… which is what I do in my ‘real life.’ This woman was going to talk to me and ask me questions about the subject matter of my other life… my non-criminal-defence-lawyer life… in other words, my life as a ‘noted zombie expert’ and all that entails.

She didn’t seem to know much about zombies except for the basics, which was great for me because I was more than happy to explain things as best I could as she led me through the issues.

At one point, she asked me if I had a Zombie Preparedness Kit and my gut reaction was to say “no.” But returning to my apartment that afternoon, I realized that, coming as I do from an Italian background, I’ve ALWAYS had at least a seven-day supply of food on hand as well as about three of everything else, including medicine, batteries, candles, flashlights, first aid kits, etc. That’s just the way I was raised. My 85-year-old mother, for example, has been preparing for an Ice Age for the last fifty years! I’m not kidding. If The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse happened today, she’d have enough food and supplies on hand to last the winter! I do need to stock up on water, though, so I will take a trip over to The Zombie Serengeti (aka The Walmarts) this afternoon.

I thought the interview went well. We covered a wide range of topics from zombie history, voodoo zombies, Romero zombies, modern viral zombies, zombies in modern culture, zombie vs vampyre comparisons and contrasts and how our society views both,  effective (and non-effective) anti-zombie weaponry, how to prepare for the Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse and even a bit about the Zombie Research Society. The article comes out some time next week. I hope I did well.

And I really hope I don’t look like an idiot.

I will keep you all posted!


[1] Founded in 2007, the Zombie Research Society (ZRS) is dedicated to raising the level of zombie scholarship in the Arts and Sciences.  ZRS Members represent diverse backgrounds, interests, and theories, but are unified in their support of the Society’s three foundational principles:

1) A zombie is a biologically definable, animated being occupying a human corpse.

2) The zombie pandemic is coming.  It’s not a matter of if, but a matter of when.

3) Enthusiastic debate about zombies is essential to the survival of the human race.

N.B.: The entire contents of footnote [1] above is the copyright property of the Zombie Research Society. © 2010 – All Rights Reserved. It cannot be reprinted or reproduced in any form, in whole or in part, without their express written permission.

[2] Season Two of AMC’s The Walking Dead premieres Sunday October 16, 2011!


6 comments on “Yours Truly: Noted Zombie Expert!

  1. Besch says:

    Now in such films/games as “Resident Evil” the ‘zombies’ are just the background noise to all the other mutants abounding from the T and Q virus effects. Though lately the T-virus reanimates have developed new characteristics to gain prey in a predator saturated environment. Speed, strength and extendable mouth tentacles. So these ‘zombies’ have much more life in them! And it makes them that much more dangerous than the run-of-the-mill shambling reanimated corpse like in “Walking Dead” who travel in packs mostly.

    Guns are really rare despite the publicity you may have heard. We are far from a real “gun culture” or we would have activities oriented around guns including means to improve our aim etc. People would be carrying guns all the time. (Not in this time.) So most people would still be left without weapons beyond what they could find. Even if the disease was a super-rabies we would still be in very bad shape.

    Preparations can work for a variety of calamities both human and natural. Now imagine a zombie outbreak after an earth quake? Or hurricane? Now you are talking even more compiled problems.

    Till next time keep the CDC on speed dial.

  2. vampyrefangs says:

    For the purposes of the interview, I restricted my comments to the classic George A. Romero zombie as modified and expanded by the Max Brooks “solanum virus” zombies. I didn’t want to open the Resident Evil can of worms! ;

    Also the things about guns is… you have to keep finding ammo! My motto… you don’t have to reload a machete.

    Hadn’t thought about the one-two or even triple punch of a Katrina-like hurricane/earthquake screw-up, followed by a devastatingly horrible plague, followed by a major zombie outbreak.

    Dang! That’ll keep you on your toes, and no mistake!

    Thanks for the comments and keep your powder dry!

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