I hate summer with an undying passion.
Everything about it revolts me. Every warm sunny day fills me with disgust.
The heat. The humidity. The smiling happy people and their nauseating tots having fun and ((((shudder)))) enjoying the weather!
And oh, lord save me, the relentless sunshine!
It is, for me, a three-month hell hole.
One thing and one thing only makes the entire sickening season bearable.
Driving down a country road, air-conditioner on full blast, sunglasses, sunscreen. Karen Carpenter’s “Sleigh Ride” blaring on the radio…
And there at the side of the road is the thing that saves me from insanity every year.
It’s as if Nature has taken pity on me and my suffering and has given me this one tiny solace… as if to help stop me from driving a spike into the neck of the next oaf who says, “Hot enough for ya?”
So the next time you hear some sweaty nitwit say, “It’s not the heat… it’s the humidity!” and he DOESN’T get hit with a shovel hard enough to drive his head into his chest…
…give thanks to the Daylily.