Well, I finally did it.
After having it sit on my computer shelf for almost a year, I finally slapped the DVD of Twilight into the old puter and fired it up.
As I did so, my Catholic school upbringing welled up inside me, bringing with it a half-forgotten snippet of prayer to my lips. “Libera Nos a Malo!” 
As you’ve probably pieced together by now, I did not burst into flames upon watching Twilight nor did blood spurt from my eyes.
It’s not a great movie. It is not really a good one, either. But I don’t think it deserves all the crap heaped on it over the last few years.
It’s not horrible. It is not wretched. It did not make me want to pull my head off.
It did make me frustrated and upset. Not because it is insipid and tiresome and BORING (which it is) but because of what it does to my beloved vampyre lore. That is what really kills me about Twilight. An entire generation of young people growing up with this decaffeinated espresso vampyre image.
Sparkling? Doesn’t feed from humans? 100 years old and still hasn’t gotten over the tortured teen angst thing.
What’s the effen point!? Who wants a sanitized, toothless vampyre?
Apparently, lots of people! And that is the sad part of Twilight.
People who’ve drunk only orange-flavoured pop or eaten only margarine think they have an idea of what orange or butter taste like. But those of us who have tasted real freshly squeezed orange juice and real fresh butter can only shake our heads and pity them. They think they know.. but they SO don’t.
I guess that’s what Twilight made me feel most of all. Pity.
Yeah, I guess that’s it.
I don’t hate Twilight fans. I pity them. I feel sorry for them… for all those poor misguided souls who read the books and watch the movies and think they know what the world of vampyres is really like.
 From the Pater Noster. A supplication to the Almighty to “Deliver Us from Evil!”