Dress for the body you have… not the body you want!

Important fashion tip for my damsels in distress [1]...

Dress for the body you have… not the body you want.

Ladies [2], I cannot over-state the importance of this little aphorism.

You may think you look scorchingly hot in that skimpy, sexy little outfit you squeezed into this morning. But unless you are anything other than slender… dare I say ‘willowy’… you (and perhaps a road crew) aren’t going to pull it off.

Be realistic. And I am not saying that anyone other than fashion models deserve to dress well. Heaven forfend.

BUT… if you are trying to dress like the runway models at New York Fashion Week and you kinda don’t look like them to start off with… you might want to lower your expectations just a titch.

Sadly, however, the young ladies with whom I usually deal do not aspire to haute couture. Far from it. From where I sit, it seems that some of them are in a fashion ‘race to the bottom.’

I’m not sure when ‘skanky’ became a ‘serious’ fashion choice but for heaven’s sake girls… knock it off. [3]

Yes, we all know you recently discovered that you have both the drive and the equipment. Congratulations. You’re right up there with… Every Other Girl.

As Spiderman said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Put another way, ‘your body is a temple… not an amusement park.’

Dress appropriately.

And that includes dressing realistically. If you are tall, slender, perfectly proportioned with a pretty face and a great smile, ignore everything I just said. This article is not directed at you.

For the 99.9% of you who are not blessed with such award-winning genes, work with what you have… not what you wish you had.

You’ll look and feel so much better. And right-thinking members of society will thank you.



[1] As many of you know, I am a criminal defence lawyer in my ‘other’ (i.e. non-blogging, non-writing) life. As such, I am exposed to all manner of fashion disasters and couture tragedies. Usually I hold my tongue. Sometimes, I simply must speak out!

[2] Trust me… guys have this problem as well. More so in a later blog article!

[3] The entire subject of ‘slutty clothing’ will also be dealt with in another blog article. Girls who choose to dress modestly often get smart-ass remarks from the skankily-dressed set. An Orthodox Jewish high school girl I know was once asked why she dressed like someone just died. As Wednesday Addams would reply, “Wait.”


4 comments on “Dress for the body you have… not the body you want!

  1. Anna Camara says:

    Re: Item 2) Men dress badly too. What is with middle-aged guys dressed like toddlers? Long shorts, big t-shirts, baseball caps, athletic socks and runners. This drives me nuts!

    • vampyrefangs says:

      Re: Men Dressing Badly. The Toddler look is pretty bad. I personally hate the ‘pants below the ass’ look. What adult has not thought, “Pull up your pants. You look like an idiot!” Also, the fat middle-aged man who dresses ‘sexy.’ There ought to be a law, really!

  2. renxkyoko says:

    * sigh *

    Seriously…. Is that a new trend?

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