While technically, ‘marathons’ would normally not be included in a list of people I hate, I am going to have to make an exception in this case.
Running marathons, bike marathons and all the other stupid thingathons would not occur if it wasn’t for those people out there who are eager to participate in marathons, curse their sweaty, spandex-encased little hearts.
(GET AWAY FROM MY NEIGHBOURHOOD, DAMMIT!!)
It is common (albeit not publicly expressed) knowledge that any kind of marathon that disrupts or interferes with traffic or even one’s ability to cross an intersection without having to wait for a hundred well-meaning yet horribly annoying people, bothers right-thinking members of society.
Today was an excellent example. There I was, minding my own business and deliberately taking a country drive in order to avoid traffic and crowds. No sooner did I arrive in town than I (and a dozen other drivers, including a couple of motorcyclists with whom I would not want to mess) were held at bay by a local regional police officer (no doubt cursing under his breath). It was in the one of the warmest days of the year so far.
What was the hold-up? It could have been an accident. It could have been some other emergency that legitimately and understandably kept us stranded at that intersection.
(I’ve been waiting 10 minutes to cross the street. GO AWAY!!)
But noooooo!! It was hundreds of stupid bike marathoners!!
One even had the nerve to smile and wave at me. Wave at me? You think I’m happy that I’m sitting here in the heat while you glide on by, you twerp? If there wasn’t an armed member of the local constabulary standing nearby, you’d be a hood-ornament on my car!
Listen. If people want to run around for miles and miles, bless them. If people want to peddle around for miles and miles, let them.
Just get them away from people who have things to do!!
Stop the madness!
Or at least move the entire shindig out to where it can’t be an inconvenience to pedestrians and traffic.