The Zombie Planet Trilogy (The Worst of the Worst!)

When you’re a ‘Noted Zombie Expert’ as I am, you gotta take the good with the irredeemably bad. Such was the case when I watched the Zombie Planet Trilogy (Zombie PlanetZombie Planet II: Adam’s Revenge and Zombie Planet III: Kane Chronicles) over the last week or two. Yes, it took me about two weeks to watch it all. Why? Because these movies are so awful, so horrible, so appallingly lousy… I could not stomach watching for more than about 15 – 20 minutes at a time. The movies that comprise the Zombie Trilogy are quite possibly the worst movies I’ve ever seen… and that’s saying something!

(Zombie Trilogy DVD cover)

They are so rotten, even RottenTomatoes.com doesn’t have reviews for them. These atrocious direct-to-video zombie disasters are from low-budget filmmaker George Bonilla. Here’s some Zombie Planet trivia:

Zombie Planet and Zombie Planet II: Adam’s Revenge were originally shot as one film. [1] Due to the ridiculous length of the original completed project, the decision was made to split it into two films.

Stacey T. Gillespie, credited with the role of Fred, actually plays seventeen different character roles throughout Zombie Planet and Zombie Planet II: Adam’s Revenge.

OK, here’s the deal. A new low-carb diet product has unintended side-effects, resulting in people craving – and crazed for – raw meat. Specifically, human flesh. Mayhem ensues when the people turn into the living dead, bringing on The Zombie Apocalypse. My two cents… In no way do any of these movies even reach the mediocre mark. Cheesy scripts, dreadful filming, abysmally bad performances, clumsy direction, horrible sound. Zombie Planet is abominably bad. Zombie Planet II: Adam’s Revenge is all that, plus it is boring. Seeing is believing…

(Zombie Planet trailer)

The Zombie Trilogy looks like it was made by drunken children. Calling it ‘bargain basement’ is an insult to bargain basements. It got to the point where I was trying to come up with positive things to say about these movies. “Unpretentious!” “Doesn’t get bogged down with CGIs and special effects (or good acting)!” Bottom line… I felt I had to watch these movies. Please don’t have any such misplaced sense of duty. As my family used to say… “Che schifezza!” Two revolted thumbs all the way down.

aa-tribalfang

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[1] The Kane Chronicles is not a separate new movie. It is merely the original ridiculously long version of the original film which was later divided into Zombie Planet I and Zombie Planet II.
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One comment on “The Zombie Planet Trilogy (The Worst of the Worst!)

  1. Jazz says:

    So bad that even its badness isn’t a redeeming quality? Ouch.

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