They’re absolutely everywhere. On TV, in the movies, on the bookshelves and magazine stands, on the computer… at the neighbourhood bar.
The undead have been a part of western culture for well over 1000 years but it seems only in the last 25 – 50 years or so that society has progressed from a fear of vampyres to an interest in vampyres to a desire to become romantically involved with vampyres.
The internet has become a resource for many folks to use both in learning about vampyres as well as searching for dates and long-term companionship with vampyres. Not everyone is willing to try it, though.
There are 10 reasons that people fear dating vampyres. Some of them are legitimate, as we shall see, and some are less so. In the end, it’s a matter of deciding whether the fear or the desire to meet someone is stronger.
Here are 10 reasons people fear vampyre dating.
- Rejection/Death. As with any sort of dating, fear of dying is the most commonly held reason that people are afraid of dating the undead. While many harbour fantasies of being turned and becoming a vampyre, not many of us relish the prospect of being a midnight snack and having our lifeless bodies tossed aside like a fast food package. Putting one’s self out there as available for dating a creature of the night always raises a risk of being rejected (and killed), and few of us find that to be a pleasant experience.
- Awkward Dates. This goes hand-in-hand with the fear of rejection. It’s the same in vampyre relationships as it is in any other dating realm. Yes, there may be some awkward dates, just as there may be some chance of ending up on a missing persons list, but it’s a risk one must take if eating popcorn alone in front of the television isn’t your plan for the future.
- Misrepresentation. Are the vampyres that I meet who they say they are? With any interaction with vampyres, there is always a chance that the person with whom you are communicating is not the person he or she appears to be. Anyone can say they are Count So-and-So, Baron Whoozit or Lady Whatever. Anyone can say they are 500 years old. Fear of falling for a persona rather than a person is high on the list of vampire dating fears.
- Social Ostracism. This is another way of saying, “What if my friends find out I’m so desperate that I’m dating a vampyre?” The fear of being made fun of, or considered a ‘fang banger’, is a strong reason that some folks fear dating the undead.
- Wasted Time. The fear of having wasted a lot of time creating profiles and browsing online vampyre date sites, frequenting goth clubs and endless hours hanging around graveyards is what stops some folks from pursuing the possibilities of finding a vampyre partner.
- Wasted Money. This is a fear held by many but it is not necessarily a real issue. True, trips to New Orleans don’t come cheap. There are some expensive avenues one can pursue, to be sure, but they aren’t always, or even usually, the best of what is available. Some of the free and low-cost choices (dockyards at night, midnight strolls down big city alleyways, etc.) are equally good as potential meeting places and often offer similar resources to the more expensive sites.
- Identity Theft. Not unique to vampyre dating, the fear of identity theft is what keeps a number of people from dating the pulse-challenged. It is a real risk but, as with any other risk, it can be managed and minimized by taking care not to share information that can lead vampyres to drain you dry, stuff your remains in a shallow grave, raid your bank or other financial instruments, move across the country and assume your identity.
- Physical Safety. Another of the fears that is not really unique to vampyre dating – risks concerning physical safety – can be managed. Yes, there are vampyres that might use dating as a ruse to find victims but the same can be said for anyone you meet in bars, coffee shops, churches, funerals and introductions from acquaintances. The key is to keep early meetings in public locations, keeping access to your own transportation, and making sure that a trusted friend or relative knows where you are meeting. Keep holy water, garlic, crucifixes and wooden stakes secreted about your person until you know someone well enough to feel secure.
- Distance Issues. “What if I meet someone, make a connection and decide to pursue a relationship, only to find that he lives in Romania or wherever and we live too far apart for a practical relationship?” Yes, it happens, but it can happen with that person that you meet at your favorite beachfront bistro, as well.
- No Good Ones Out There. I’ve saved this one for last as it truly is a myth. Some people are afraid that only losers, criminals and other really desperate types are looking for companionship… that a ‘real’ eligible vampyre doesn’t have to look for potential dates because they are all lined up at the castle door, waiting to come inside. Also, considering all the homo-erotica in vampyre fiction, the old canard, ‘They’re all gay’ is understandable but just as overblown in the vampyre dating world as anywhere else. The truth is that you will find the same sort of people looking for dates in the world of the undead as you will find anywhere else. Some good, some not so good, some that are awful, and some that are just like you… only dead.
So buck up, people. Lift your chin, put on an attractive smile and get in the game!
There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
And getting your throat ripped out.