The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse

If Hollywood has prepared us for anything, it is The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse (TUZA).

Think about it. Virtually everyone in Canada, the US and the rest of the English-speaking world has more than a working knowledge of zombies and how to kill them. [1]

Whether they are the old-fashioned slow-moving George Romero kind of zombies (a la Night of the Living Dead), new-style medium-speed zombies (a la The Walking Dead) or the modern fast-moving zombies (a la 28 Days Later or 28 Weeks Later[2], most people are pretty much aware of the basic zombie rules and how to conduct themselves when they come face to face with the Living Dead.

Unlike vampyre movies where at least some people know what vampyres are, the people in zombie movies are completely ignorant of the nature of zombies or how to deal with them. The entire phenomenon catches them off-guard. In this, we have an advantage in that we know in advance exactly what they are and just how to combat them. What we need to do is go from that cursory knowledge of zombie lore to a ‘hooah” level of preparedness. We can’t wait for the dreck to hit the fan, folks. We need to start readying ourselves now.

At the very least, I suggest watching the movie Zombieland. This enjoyable and informative flick not only is tons o’ fun (and has a superb cameo by Bill Murray), it is also chock full of handy zombie facts. See it. Learn it. Live it. Also, tune in to the AMC television series The Walking Dead. As far as Zombie Basic Training is concerned, this is Must See TV.

For those serious about surviving TUZA, it’s tough to beat the New York Times bestseller The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead. You might also want to get your hands on any kind of ‘survivalist’ materials. [3] Those nutty wackjobs out in Montana and North Dakota are onto something, you know.

Mind you, one of the main differences (and hence one of the big disadvantages) of TUZA is that, unlike most cinema vampyre attacks where you usually only have to deal with a relatively small number of the undead at any given time, there is going to be shitload of zombies. Think of the zombie-surrounded buses in the 20o4 remake of Dawn of the Dead, and you get the idea. Luckily, zombies are unorganized so, depending on how we hunker down and set ourselves up, we should be OK.

And yet, in light of the disturbing recent admission of the Leister City Council, just how prepared are we?

For those wanting some pre-TUZA experience with the living dead, I suggest participating in your local Annual Zombie Walk. The 9th annual Toronto Zombie Walk takes place October 22, 2011.  In Niagara Region of Southern Ontario, the St Catharines Zombie Walk takes place on Saturday July 16, 2011.

aa-tribalfang

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[1] Although, if they are the living dead, do we technically ‘kill’ them? Kill them again? Re-kill them?

[2] Some zombie purists say that the new-style fast-moving zombies are not ‘true’ zombies in that they are ‘crazies’ (as in the 2010 movie The Crazies). In other words, living people who have been infected and don’t die before turning into monsters.

[3] The Wilderness Survival Guide: The Practical Skills You Need for the Great Outdoors; also the Ultimate SAS Survival Gift Edition or the Collins Gem – SAS Survival Guide, both by John “Lofty” Wiseman. The SAS stands for Special Air Service. I also recommend a good firearms catalogue.

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2 comments on “The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse

  1. zombiekylee says:

    hey there, I have just started a blog http://imminentzombieapocalypse.wordpress.com/

    I am keen to get some feedback, so if you dont mind could you check it out and let me know what you think?

    thanks
    K

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