Category Archives: Humour
Shenanigans
Saw this last week and it tickled me!
I am a sucker for the ‘flaky upper crust!’
I love it!
I’ve always had a bizarre fascination with Little Lord Fauntleroy types. It probably explains my fondness for the Monty comic strip character Master Sedgwick Nuttingham IV.
What with that most ghastly of holidays behind us, I thought it appropriate that Sedgie put in an appearance!
I hope you all had a relatively tragedy-free February 14th!
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NB: I’ve been in Israel since February 11th. Hang in there, my little geeks and nerdlings. If all goes well, I will be returning Monday the 25th.
Warm Bodies (trailer)
A funny new twist on a classic love story, WARM BODIES is a poignant tale about the power of human connection. After a zombie epidemic, R (a highly unusual zombie) encounters Julie (a human survivor), and rescues her from a zombie attack. Julie sees that R is different from the other zombies, and as the two form a special relationship in their struggle for survival, R becomes increasingly more human – setting off an exciting, romantic, and often comical chain of events that begins to transform the other zombies and maybe even the whole lifeless world.
In theaters February 1, 2013
Four Ways To Stop Mean People by Creeping Them Out
Reblogged from I Miss You When I Blink:
Let’s tackle an issue everyone has to deal with sometime: Jerks.
Whether it’s the guy at work who lords his higher spot on the totem pole over everyone else, or the girl who gossips loudly about other people, or perhaps the meat-head who makes fun of a shy person with a lisp. Assholes are out there. And they always will be.
TRUE BLOOD: Season 5 Finale (WARNING: Major Spoiler Alert!!)
I watched the much-anticipated Season 5 Finale of True Blood and I am still reeling!
Without giving a blow-by-blow description of each scene…
Oh, screw it… here’s a blow-by-blow description of each scene!!
WARNING!! MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!!
READ NO FURTHER IF YOU DON’T WANT ANY PLOT GIVE-AWAYS!!
TRUE BLOOD: SEASON 5 FINALE
And we’re off…
Opening (Fairy Field/Nightclub): Russell Edgington sees the invisible nightclub. Fairies blast him with light. He just laughs and pushes forward as Steve Newlin watches. Fairy light pushes Russell back… right onto the stake held by Eric Northman! Russell Edgington dies. Steve Newlin flees. Eric: “Well, that felt even better than I thought it would.”
Fairy Field: Sookie runs out of nightclub and onto field after Jason (who was knocked away by fairy light). Nora shows up. “What is that amazing smell?” Nora chases after Sookie. Eric catches Nora by hair and makes her swear not to feed on Sookie. Jason comes to but hallucinates seeing his mother, not Sookie.
Authority HQ: Bill outside Lilith’s shrine. A naked Sam Merlotte is brought in as Bill’s ‘breakfast.’ Sam says he and Luna are at the Authority only to find Luna’s daughter, Emma. Bill says Sam knows too much. Sam shifts into fly and disappears through ventilation duct.
Fangtasia: Pam tells Eric and Nora that the Authority has Pam. Eric hauls out all of the money hidden in a basement wall. Plans to go to the Authority to rescue Pam.
Sookie’s House: Sookie on couch talking with Jason while Jason’s hallucinating his parents sitting on either side of Sookie. Bill, Nora and Tara burst into the house. Eric tells Sookie that Bill was behind the True Blood factory bombings. Asks Sookie for help in rescuing Pam, Jessica and, if possible, Bill, since Sookie is the only one who might get through to Bill. Sookie says OK. Jason agrees to come along at the suggestion of his hallucinated father in order to kill as many vampyres as he can.
Authority HQ: Bill reprimands Security Team and orders them to scour building looking for mice, flies, cockroaches… anything that might be Sam and Luna… and kill them. Salome asks Bill if he has seen Chancellor Akinjide. Bill admits killing him and tells Salome that Lilith appeared to him. Bill lies and says Lilith told him that Salome was the chosen one and that he was to serve and protect Salome.
Authority Cells: Dozens of naked people being held as food for the Authority, including Luna and Emma (in wolf cub form). Sam appears, tells Luna that Bill is crazy and that if they come for her, she should shift and get out. Luna doesn’t want to leave Emma but Sam convinces her (vampyres don’t feed from wolves). He shifts into fly and leaves.
Authority Cells: Pam and Jessica discuss the rise of the fundamentalist Saguinista movement.
Jackson Herveaux’s Trailer: Alcide’s dad talks about how hard it is for parents to teach their kids how screwed up the world is. Alcide says he’s heard it all before. Emma’s grandmother Martha pulls up in her car with Rikki in the back seat screaming. Pack master JD Carson made Rikki drink vampyre blood (V). Rikki freaking out. Martha is afraid she may have OD’d.
Authority Air Vents: Sam flies through ventilation system, looks through ceiling vent and sees Bill in bed with Salome.
The Stake House: Jason and Sookie go to the anti-vampyre weapons shop to stock up on supplies. Jason continues to hallucinate that his parents are with him and encouraging him to kill all vampyres.
Jackson Herveaux’s Trailer: Rikki’s going through a bad reaction to the V. Criticizes Alcide for just leaving the pack without a word and not calling her. She tells how pack master JD forced to drink the blood. Alcide wants to fight JD but can’t while JD is on V. Too strong. Jackson has ‘special reserve’ of high quality V for Alcide.
Authority HQ: Sam the fly goes to Steve Newlin’s room and snoops around, then returns to the Cells to talk to Luna about a plan he has devised.
Merlotte’s: Lafayette makes cajun margaritas for Arlene and Holly. Andy and his very pregnant fairy girlfriend Morella enter. He sits her at a booth and she drinks a container of salt. Andy talks with Holly and confesses his two sexual incidents with Morella a week before. Just then, Morella’s ‘light breaks’ and she goes into labour.
Authority Private Chambers: Bill and Salome in bed. He calls her his beautiful prophet. They have sex.
Jason’s truck: Sookie says Bill’s not evil. Jason’s Dad says Sookie’s blinded by love. Jason and Sookie discuss their screwed up relationships with others. Eric lands on truck roof and tells them to pull over.
Merlotte’s: Morella on pool table in labour. Holly: “I do not believe I am midwifing for your pregnant girlfriend… that I just found out about!” Gives birth to a girl with no umbilical cord. Holly: “We’re not done!” as Morella continues labour pains.
Authority Cells: Steve Newlin and guards go to cell where Emma is kept. We realize that Steve Newlin is actually Luna. She takes Emma (still a wolf pup) and says she needs a little ‘play time.’ Leaves cells carrying Emma.
Authority Reception area: Receptionist talks with Newlin/Luna and notices he has lost his southern accent. Chancellor Rosalyn Harris arrives and makes Newlin help her on damage control re frat boys Newlin and Edgington killed.
Merlotte’s: Morella gives birth to another girl. The fourth child that night. Morella gets up like nothing happened and walks out leaving the 4 babies with Andy. Holly says to Andy, “You’re a dick!”
Pack HQ: Pack Master JD has a vampyre strung up with chains, cuts him and says, “Drinks on me!” Alcide and his dad, Jackson, come forward. Alcide and JD fight. Jackson and Martha make sure others stay out of the fight. Alcide kills JD. Pack acknowledges Alcide as new pack master. Alcide sets new rules for pack.
Authority Building exterior: Eric and Nora drive truck with Sookie, Jason and Tara tied and gagged in back. Guard calls it in and Bill allows them past the gate.
Authority Video Studio: Steve Newlin/Luna being prepared for broadcast. Chancellor Harris complains about how things are going to hell. She tells Newlin/Luna that he broadcasts live in 5 seconds. Being interviewed live on a news program, Newlin shifts into Luna on national television. Lafayette, watching the broadcast from Merlotte’s: “I did not see that shit coming.” Luna warns viewers the people are being held captive in a building somewhere in New Orleans. Chancellor Harris opens her mouth to say something. Sam the fly goes into her mouth, then shifts into human shape, bursting out of Harris. Luna looks like she’s about to faint.
Authority Board Room: Salome enters Lilith’s shrine. Bill sees her on security camera. Salome promises Lilith that vampyres will rightfully rule the Earth.
Authority Elevator: Jason, Sookie, Eric, Tara and Nora arm up. Eric gives signal to Tara to disable security cameras.
Lilith’s Shrine: Salome removes crystal vial of Lilith’s blood. Asks for guidance as she surrenders herself to Lilith.
Authority Reception: Elevator opens. Receptionist hits alarm button. Jason kills receptionist.
Lilith’s Shrine: Intercom – “Initiating Level Two Protocols!” Salome runs out of Shrine.
Reception Area: Eric & Nora run out of elevator. Jason shoots cameras and guards who enter. Level Two Protocol initiated. Lights go out. Tara and Sookie leave elevator.
Board Room: A dozen security guards enter. Eric and Nora hiding above near ceiling. They kill all the guards. Eric: “See what you’ve been missing… working for the fucking authority?”
Cells: Tara and Sookie find Jessica and Pam and tell them they are waiting for Eric and Nora to disarm and unlock everything.
Control Room: Nora and Eric work on disarming and unlocking everything.
Reception Area: Jason behind reception desk shooting vampyres.
Cells: Gates unlock. Sookie opens door for Jessica (because they’re silver). Tara burns hand opening cell for Pam. Pam & Tara kiss deeply. Jessica: “I KNEW IT!!”
Private Chambers: Bill and Salome discuss Salome drinking all of Lilith’s blood and how it might adversely affect Salome. Salome drinks from the vial.
Reception Area: Sookie, Tara, Pam and Jessica return. Jessica runs to Jason and tells him she loves him. Jason says he could never love a vampyre. Eric and Nora arrive. Everyone goes into elevator except Eric and Sookie who say they are going to find Bill.
Chambers: Salome is vomiting blood, convulsing, having bad reaction. Bill transferred Lilith’s blood to a bottle, added human blood spiked with silver. Salome: “Lilith… chose wisely.” Bill stakes Salome. Takes out bottle of Lilith’s blood. Eric and Sookie enter. Eric tells Bill that Lilith is a mad god and not to drink the blood. Bill reveals himself to be a True Believer in Lilith. He drinks Lilith’s blood. Has immediate bad reaction. He bleeds from the mouth and eyes and explodes. A reborn Bill Compton rises from the pool of dead Bill Compton’s blood. Eric screams, “Run!”
End Credits
But wait… there’s more!
True Blood Season 5 Finale Bonus Scene Interactive
THE END
A whole lot of people were bumped off this season, including trashy Werewolf Debbie [I'm gonna miss her!], Mike the Coroner, a whole bunch of Authority people (Guardian Roman, Chancellors Dieter, Alexander, Kibwe, and the adorable Molly who was the Authority tech girl), Junior the clerk at The Stake House, Lt Patrick Devins and a whole bunch of others – but not including Tara Thornton (who was killed earlier this season and brought back as a vampyre) and Hoyt who was glamoured and left for Alaska.
Season Finale Tally:
Dead: Russel Edgington, JD Carson, Chancellor Rosalyn Harris, Salome, Bill Compton,
Unknown: Resurrected Bill Compton
The Boondock Saints (Parts 1 and 2): Movie Review
The first Boondock Saints movie (The Boondock Saints) was made in 1999 and is a cult movie classic.
For over 10 years, people have been telling me, “You GOT to see this movie!!”
Well, this year… I finally did. I loved it! I thought it was totally amazing.
The second Boondock Saints movie (The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day) was made ten years later, in 2009.
Until I went looking for the DVD of the original movie, I didn’t even know there was a sequel.
I watched it a few weeks after I saw the original. It was fun, action-packed and full of laughs. And I think that was its problem.
Let’s take them one at a time, shall we?
The Boondock Saints
(And shepherds we shall be… for The, my Lord, for Thee)
Now, you don’t have to have grown up Irish or Roman Catholic to love this movie… but it doesn’t hurt.
OK, here’s the deal (links and all, as per the Gospel According to Wikipedia)…
The Boondock Saints is a 1999 action film written and directed by Troy Duffy. The film stars Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus as Irish fraternal twins, Connor and Murphy MacManus, who become vigilantes after killing two members of the Russian Mafia in self-defense. After both experience an epiphany, the brothers, together with their friend (David Della Rocco), set out to rid their home city of Boston, Massachusetts of crime and evil; all the while being pursued by FBI Special Agent Paul Smecker (Willem Dafoe).
I prefer the summary by Jonathan Crow at Rovi…
Feeling that they are doing God’s will, two Catholic men from Boston set out to kill everyone in this Reservoir Dogs-style vigilante thriller. Brothers Conner and Murphy MacManus (Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus) take to performing their divine duty against the Russian mob. They massacre a bunch of unsuspecting Mafioso in a scene of absurd violence, then they let more blood in a mass killing of porn-shop customers. Instead of getting thrown in jail, they are dubbed “saints” by the Boston Herald, and they are praised by brilliant, tortured, and gay FBI agent Paul Smecker (Willem Dafoe).
The movie was initially met with poor critical reviews but the film has grossed about $50 million in domestic video sales and ultimately developed a large cult following.
When I watched it, it immediately became one of my favourite movies.
Now, to be fair… there are others who disagree with me. Critics have called it a ‘train wreck’… ‘an embarrassing waste of time’… ‘dim-witted’… ‘aesthetically clunky Tarantino clone’… and ‘one of the most overrated films of all time,’ among other things.
Our pals over at RottenTomatoes.com have another opinion of this movie, to wit: “A juvenile, ugly movie that represents the worst tendencies of directors channeling Tarantino.” They give it a 17% freshness level on their Tomatometer. Interestingly enough, the site also indicates that 93% of their readership liked the movie, rating it 4.2 out of 5 stars.
My two cents… I would have to say that this is a situation where the voice of the people have drowned out the sound of the crickets. Er… critics. Why? Because The Boondock Saints is effen awesome, that’s why!
Bottom line… As Joseph Zingale of Bullz-eye.com said in his review, “If you can’t sit back and enjoy an entertaining popcorn flick like The Boondock Saints, then you’ll probably never understand the difference between the movies and real life.”
And now for the sequel…
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
(Murphy: Let’s do some gratuitous violence!)
The Boondock Saints (aka The Saints, aka The Boys) are back!
This movie brings back all of the original cast, except that the Willem Dafoe* FBI special agent character is replaced by the delicious Julie Benz. Even David Della Rocco (aka The Funny Man) puts in an appearance, this time in dream/vision sequences.
OK, here’s the deal (as per Jeremy Wheeler, of Rovi)…
Boondock Saints, the 2000 crime picture renowned for the unique story of the fast rise and fall of its egomaniacal filmmaker, Troy Duffy, as well as the cult following that appeared later on home release, gets the sequel treatment with this follow-up. Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus reunite as the vigilante MacManus brothers, with Billy Connolly returning as Il Duce. Duffy once again directs from his own script, with Clifton Collins Jr., Julie Benz, and David Della Rocco filling out the rest of the cast.
Critics panned this movie, too. ‘Idiotic style over some sorely needed substance’… ‘Trash–grubby and nonsensical, with lame dialogue, wretched overacting and clumsily staged action sequences’… and ‘Imagine Quentin Tarantino if he got his brow lowered.’
RottenTomatoes.com says, “This sequel to the cult favorite The Boondock Saints is more of the same — unoriginal, absurd, violent, over-the-top, and occasionally mean-spirited” and gives it a 23% freshness level. Popular support on its site is lower than the original… 63% (3.5 out of 5).
My two cents… The movie (filmed in Toronto) is a riot. Tons of funny bits, tons of violent shoot-em-ups, tons of references to gags and bits in the first movie. It is a lot of laughs. And, as I mentioned above, I think this is the problem.
In its attempt to be ‘more’… it ends up being less. I laughed more at the sequel and enjoyed the gratuitous violence more but afterwards, when I thought about it a bit… I wished it there was less ‘more’ and more ‘less’, like the original.
There were some genuinely funny bits in The Boondock Saints. I howled laughing for almost a full minute when David Della Rocco accidentally shot his girlfriend’s cat. But while the original made me laugh, it wasn’t a comedy. All Saints Day inches towards that genre a bit too much, I think. Same with the violence. While the original certainly used violence, it wasn’t about violence. It was about vengeance. Vigilantism as Justice. All Saints Day is about making a successful sequel.
Bottom line: The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day got a rise out of me, for sure. I enjoyed it. I had a good time. But in the end, it left me dissatisfied.
I was hoping for Eggs Benedict and I got an Egg McMuffin. And even though I love Egg McMuffins [1]… I honestly do… they’re not Eggs Benedict.
I wanted Eggs Benedict
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* Dafoe does appear as Smecker but in a cameo role.
[1] Yeah, I know. Neither Eggs Benedict nor an Egg McMuffin is kosher. I got a way around that, though. Kosher Egg McMuffin: made with poached egg, sliced toasted english muffin, kosher cheese slice and non-meat bacon slice. Voilà!
Coital Cephalalgia: Not tonight. I have a headache.
An orgasm, the ultimate pleasure? For those suffering coital cephalalgia, or “sexual headaches”, it’s quite the opposite.
A recent article indicates that this rare type of headache occurs in about 1% of men and is characterized by a sudden, severe “explosive” pain at the base of the skull that builds just before or during orgasm. Afterward the intense pain may last for several hours or even a few days.
(They are the 1%!)
(A headache? Seriously?? That’s MY line!!)
Doctors aren’t certain of what causes this disorder. Erectile dysfunction medications such as Viagra could be a malefactor, as it’s estimated that 10% of men using this kind of medication may experience coital cephalalgia. Although these headaches are often benign, it’s always important to seek medical attention if you are experiencing them as in rare cases it could indicate a tumor or worse.
Over-exposure seems to be the best treatment. According to Wikipedia, “a doctor may recommend heavy sexual activity and masturbation for a short period of time ranging from a few days to a few weeks.”
(Thanks, Doc!)
To sooth the pain, it’s recommendable to take medications that prevent such headaches (Propranolol) during this intense sexual period.
(In other words… Take An Aspirin, Buddy!!)
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Anand KS, & Dhikav V (2009). Primary headache associated with sexual activity. Singapore medical journal, 50 (5) PMID: 19495503
Ewe Sweet Embraceable Ewe!
I’m sure, my precious little geeks and nerdlings, that you have better things to do on a sunny, warm, summer Sunday afternoon than hanging out on Facebook.
Sadly, as I hate warm weather, and the sun… and frankly summer Sundays… there I was, minding my own business, when what to my wondering eyes should appear…
Yes, boys and girls, the Sheep Chair.
It took me a second or two to gasp what I was looking at. Nope, it was a Sheep Chair, all right!
Naturally, I shared it.
And this is where the adventure started.
A dear friend of mine, KB, ‘Facelifted’ it from me and posted it on her page and tagged me on the photo.
KB has many more FB friends than I do… and as they are a chatty, cheery bunch, they felt moved to comment on the photo.
Being tagged, I got notices of all of said comments.
What ensued was an orgy of puns, double-entendre and plays on words.
Here are a few examples…
- Wow. You scored tickets for the Sheep Seats.
- Oh, that was baaaaaaaaad.
- Well, at least you didn’t try to pull the wool over our eyes.
- I HERD that!
- I only have eyes for ewe!
- Wool you all stop?… lol
- A good chair to get drunk in… If there is a better place to get three sheeps to the wind, I’d like to see it!
- Try to get a good price on it, I know of three individuals who have gotten fleeced by this guy…
- ”…she said, sheepishly.”
- The perfect chair in which to eat Shepherds Pie!
Creepy Girls (5): Girl at Fire
I’m sorry but this little girl is simply Evil Incarnate!
(Yes, it’s all fun and games… until she torches your house)
That adorably cute little face says it all (i.e. ‘I am the Spawn of Satan! Can I have a cookie?’)
And yet… there is humour here, as well.
A dark, evil, perverse humour, perhaps… but humour all the same.
A milder, funnier version was put together in this commercial for the 2010 Young Director Award.
My kinda kid!
A Rooster In My Neighbourhood (WTF??)
OK… you need a bit of background here…
I’m kind of an ‘early to bed, early to rise’ type of person.
As a general rule, I’m pretty much conking out by 11:00 pm unless there is a really good reason for me to be up (i.e. downloading and watching the latest episode of Game of Thrones)!
Sadly, I also tend to get up fairly early… and by fairly early, I mean before 6:00 a.m. The alarm on my clock radio is set for 6:00 am and it is pretty rare that it wakes me up.
(Niagara Winter Sunrise – Photo Credit: Doug Hagadorn)
It would be nice for me to sleep in now and again. I just don’t get a chance to do so. Either I have to be up because I’ve got to be somewhere, or I just naturally get up because, well… that’s when I wake up.
So you can imagine that on those mornings when I can sleep in, it is a ‘few and far between’ treat for me.
This morning was one such occasion. It is Victoria Day (aka Firecracker Day) in my particular corner of The Great White North. No work. Nowhere to go. Nothing to do. Up fairly late last night enjoying the latest episode of Game of Thrones.
In my nice huge (king size) bed, sawing wood, blowing some big league Zs, all is right with the world.
And the world, being what it is… there are seasonal changes in sunrise times. At this particular time of year, the sun rises at about 5:50 am or thereabouts and will continue to do so, progressively earlier each morning, until mid-June. No problem. Shades are drawn, door is closed. Hoping to wake up maybe around 8:00 or even 8:30 if I am really lucky.
Nature had other plans for me this morning.
I’m sure it hit my subconscious before I opened my eyes, so it was probably the second blast that woke me up.
I just lay there for a moment, puzzled. ‘That sounded just like a rooster,’ I thought to myself.
Well, they say that three’s a charm. I needed no further confirmation after that one.
There’s a rooster in my neighbourhood somewhere.
Judge my chagrin.
While I may not have a lot of hard empirical evidence at my fingertips to support me, I am fairly certain that just about everyone who’s ever moved to a city has done so in order to avoid being woken up by a rooster.
I looked at my clock radio. 5:25 a.m.
The pre-dawn concerto was in full swing about half an hour later. That was when I got out of bed.
Curse you, Rooster. Curse your cold black cock-a-doodle-doo heart!






























